She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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