I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I could make wine with my vomit
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
