We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
