i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
