yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
