it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
