she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize