heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
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Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
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I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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