im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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