Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
