Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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