This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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