She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
