So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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