If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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