My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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