You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
