ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
