Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
