And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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