ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
