I wish my penis had an off switch
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
