I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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