She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My cat gives me a boner
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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