i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
