JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
and i looked up. we had an audience...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
