; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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