I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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