He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
