Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Buhtt sex?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
