i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
