in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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