I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize