So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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