i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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