I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
