The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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