After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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