i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
