tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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