Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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