this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
