honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize