OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
