How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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