am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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