he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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