Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
