Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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