i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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