it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
