Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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