she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
