Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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