high people should be assigned attendants
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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