Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?