One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.