I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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