her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
