Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
