just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
