Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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